Act Like A Man, Think Like A Lady (when necessary……)

I was one of thousands of women who went and bought or read a friend’s copy of Steve Harvey’s New York Times’ bestseller, “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” Not to discredit his work, but if you’re a woman with some common sense, then his book shouldn’t have been an “Eureka!!!” type of book for you. In retrospect, Harvey’s book was written from a 40-50year old man’s perspective, with a 30-40year old woman in mind. I like to think sometimes that I am a Steve Harvey for the clueless men out there in their 20s who have absolutely zero insight into the female psyche. Hence, I bring to the guys…. “Act Like A Man, Think Like A Lady.”

1.      There are three things every woman needs from a man: 1) honesty 2) stability 3) security – I know what you’re thinking, where’s our equivalent to the “cookie??” Well believe it or not, unlike men, women can function without it. In fact, if the existence of a relationship relied solely on it, most of ya’ll would be without a chick right now, I’m just saying. HONESTY is where its at; every women needs an honest man-point blank. If you go throughout relationships lying then reevaluate your life. When a woman feels like she’s being lied to, you might as well shoot yourself because you WILL open a can of worms. Your Facebook /Twitter account acting strangely? Text messages you don’t recall reading are marked as read?? Getting a series of random questions and side-eyes all of a sudden? That’s because we no longer trust you! So just be honest about everything, you only put your girl through more pain by not telling her what’s going on in the long run. STABILITY– plainly put, unless you dealing with a low-self esteem woman, if you don’t have a job, or atleast some way of making money, or any GOALS, you’re not getting anywhere. I saved the best for last, every woman needs SECURITY-both physical and financial. As Steve mentioned, a man wants to feel like the “protector” and for us, we want to feel protected. We want to know that no matter what, we can rely on you for protection- whether a club brawl, fixing a flat tire, making sure we’re making ends meet, etc., etc.- we want to know you will be there no matter what. Which leads me to the next…

2.      Yea, we know we’re independent, and we have no problem paying, but we want you to pay. Unfortunately, ‘80s babies men are a new breed of men who don’t believe in paying for much. I can’t recall how many women I’ve talked to or endured myself of men who take us out and won’t pay. Quite honestly, if I were a dude, I would feel emasculated if my date paid for her own check, or worse, both of us. Now granted, sometimes a woman will feel empowered to pay for one meal or one date, but DON’T make it a habit. Pay it!

3.      Stop talking about yourself. If you’re talking to a woman, and after 10minutes you realized that she hasn’t said anything, and looking in every other direction except your way, then she is either an ADD mute or you are just talking too damn much! This is one of the most unattractive things in the world-  for a man to go on and on and onnnnnnnnnn about themselves. If you insist on talking about yourself, try to incorporate your girl into the conversation by asking her questions throughout the conversation.

4.      When we’re upset, everything we say, react in the opposite way. This should be obvious, BUT some guys still don’t get it. When we say, “leave” STAY, unless we’re packing a pistol, or if we say, “I’m okay” WE’RE NOT. Use common sense in these situations.

5.      Never, ever, mention the ex. The ex will come up in the initial phase of dating, in fact, it should come up in conversation initially, but that’s where it should stay. Women really don’t want to know how your ex use to cook your food, or offered you words of encouragement or my favorite, very “understanding.” If you have kids, then of course not mentioning the ex would be impossible, but only reference the ex as it relates to the kids. Avoid saying anything about your ex while in the relationship, because for women, we do like to “compare”- there is one chick that is giving me a serious *side-eye* right now, but hear me out. We women compare sometimes, and this can be a good and bad thing. However, if we are continuously given information on the ex, this only puts a strain on the relationship and damaging for you because we will question, a) is there something I’m doing wrong and this is his way of dropping hints?? or b) is he still caught up on the ex?? If her reaction is B, then, *referring back to #1 =FAIL.

*Cue 10 Crack Commandments* Follow these rules, you’ll have mad game, no break-ups, if not, 24 years, and you still stuck?!?! Game hit the temple, watch your girl shake up (ya’ll know the rest, LOL)…….. Gotta go, gotta go, more dudes to clue up……

Queen….J Bi’zzzaaa

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dupree D
    Sep 18, 2010 @ 14:39:38

    There os nothin I can say bout that but true ish. I don’t disagree with any of that. Keep up the good work ladies.


  2. DA
    Sep 18, 2010 @ 20:08:16

    Nice article. I’m a ‘conversationalist’ type guy in that I won’t talk about myself but I like to discuss topics or things we may have in common. I guess it’s more of me liking to have a mutual dialogue to get to know each other during a date. So personally, I don’t know if I agree 100% on 3. Obviously don’t outshine the girl from talking while being narcissistic but being able to hold a solid discussion is important in my opinion.

    I don’t play in the game too often but I’ll make note of the points you made.

    Good work Queen.


      Sep 19, 2010 @ 02:57:44

      First, thanks for reading the post and commenting!!!! I usually don’t comment in the comment section unless I feel the need I have to and in this case I wanted to clarify something. There is nothing wrong AT ALL about a man enjoying a good conversation, or in fact, leading the conversation. The problem is men who feel the need to completely dominate the conversation by talking solely about themselves. There are men who begin and end conversations about themselves and its a turn-off. So, hope this clears things up for you!

      ~The Queen


  3. PresidentIman
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 19:42:46

    If any man is reading this site and understands how to implement these rules, please find me. Im single and cute. HA!


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