Romance..A Dying Art?


Have you ever made love to rap song? Uhhhh, not really T-Pain. Diggin in the ____ while listening to Gucci? Ummm, I’ll pass on that one, in fact, when I think of “making love” none of Gucci Mane’s songs pop up in my mind. NO ONE wants to know the song they were conceived on, but the mere thought of hearing someone say, “Lil Man was conceived on Bust it Baby” makes me cringe. What’s the state of romance with our generation? You know, the ‘80s babies? The hip-hop generation? Whatever happened to holding the door? Throwing the jacket in the rain puddles? Yeah, I know that hardly happens, blame it on Hollywood. However, romance does exist or atleast it did. Just refer back to the how-to manuals, i.e., R&B songs. Teddy P said it best, turn off the lights, and light a candle…..Jodeci crooned, I’m holding you close, I’m keeping you warm, ‘cuz this is ecstasy. Today, “baby making music” is aggressive. Why I have to be on the bullsh*t?? Bust what? Eww, no.

I say, let’s resurrect some of the old heads or atleast make replicas. Billy D., Billy Paul, Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin Gaye. These men knew how to romance-what to do and what to say and how to look when doing it. The women today are becoming too passive and the men today are getting too comfortable with the dull romance. Sad thing about the black community when it comes to romance is unfortunately, who do we have to refer to? Most of us from this generation come from broken homes and romance amongst parents was non-existent. Casual sex is the new thing now, so “why the need for romance when I’m already getting it in,” is probably the thought for most men. From a female perspective, chances are, if we demand romance, we will be labeled, “high maintenance.” This is just a cop-out so work doesn’t have to be done in order to get with a woman. Men want their women like their fast food: hot and ready. I propose we go back and demand to be courted and romanced. Take me out, buy me flowers, write the love letters, hell, throw rocks at my window! I want it all.

Signed,

A Hopeless Romantic

~The Queen

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Justina
    Dec 08, 2010 @ 17:25:30

    I truly believe there are men out there that are willing to romance a woman. However, with so many women out here giving everything away for free men have come to believe that there a few women out there who want to be romanced.

    I think if we as women stand up for the things we deserve in life (i.e. a door to be held, a simple “thinking of you” note, or a nice walk in the park/on the beach) men will start to get the picture that not all women are solely about money (my list does not include anything you have to buy – the note can be a text or on a piece of scrap paper) and sex.

    Women want the romance, but it’s a vicious cycle of women giving it for free, men thinking women don’t want the romance, and then women settle for men not giving them the romance. The cycle has to break, but it will take a movement because the few of us out there who do demand it will be seen as stuck up, high maintenance females who ask for too much.

    Reply

  2. W. Vaughan
    Dec 08, 2010 @ 17:27:48

    Interesting perspective. I also ponder on this alot. I always refer to the state of romance these days as the microwave era of love. There is no do denying that a home cooked meal is way better than a Stouffers! The thing is home cooked meals take preparation, attention, and love. This all equates to time; time which (especially the 20’s-early 30’s) feel they don’t time for. Due to the lie perpetuated by society that time = money and that everything/man/woman has its price, an illusion is created where people feel that convenience is much more suitable. In this age range its all about chasing paper stacks for now, true love can take a back seat.

    Kanye West said in the song “This Way” – Dilated Peoples, “I don’t know whats better, getting laid or getting paid, I just know when I getting one the other is getting away…” I think this kind of sums of the attitude of at least many males today. I hate to assume, but I assume its alot simpler for a males to chase dollars because the outcome is more predictable. Darwinism plays a factor as well. Basically the male with more resources has more “romantic”/reproductive options.

    However, we can’t forget that women hold all the power in selecting a “romantic” partner. As much as a man wants to admit he gets soo much play, it is the femal who is responsible for choosing sed male. Today’s female is much more aggressive, assertive, and has taken a more active role in choosing romantic partners. Some women even actively exploring their right to options as well. So the state of Romance is no longer a game of courtship and long term companionship, but a game of options…

    Reply

  3. MsKeriBaaaaaaaabeh
    Dec 08, 2010 @ 17:36:46

    i luv the way you fu*k me fu*k me! (insert pelvic thrusts) Blame it on Keri, its all her fault! I think it depends on the mood u’re in so Men should be versatile. Sometimes women want to jus get it in, and other times we want sensual love making. The same could go for men so dont let em fool you! Of course they gonna take it however you give it to them, but never foget the power of the Vag! We got the power! A healthy sex life is one factor of a good relationship i think. You and your partner need to be comfortable enough with each other to be open and say what u want, and how you want it! Someone who loves you and wants to be with you would have no problem compromising, and honestly finding out about each others sexual preferences could bring you closer to each other. Alot can be revealed in the heat of the moment 🙂 Like Dr. Ruth always says “Just get some!”

    Reply

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