Random Love & Relationship Thoughts

And when I say “random” I mean really random here……

Over a conversation with my co-worker, she revealed to me that she purchased the new Steve Harvey book, Straight Talk, No Chaser. While nothing about my coworker seems as though she really needs Steve Harvey’s advice, I made the comment that Steve Harvey’s books are really common sense advice. To which she replied that she just likes to read them out of curiosity and I’d be surprised of how many women are out there that really don’t have a clue when it comes to dating and relationships.

So, fast forward to today, as I am driving to work, the “Strawberry Letter” portion of the Steve Harvey morning show is on. Usually, I would brush off these letters as just letters from people who don’t have a clue, but today’s letter was just sad.

A woman wrote in wanting to know if she’s getting “played” by her lover. Here’s the info she reveals in the letter:

A. After a year together, she hasn’t been to his house

B. When he comes to her place, his phone is always off

C. She overheard a conversation with him and a friend in which the friend inquired about his “little lady” (To play my own devil’s advocate, this friend could have been referring to her)

Nevertheless, the two first clues alone made the morning crew unanimously agree that she’s getting played. But here’s my thing, did she really need a morning crew to tell her this?

However, does love hinder our instincts? Our intuitions? Is love the intuition kryptonite?

Furthermore, why is it that we’re quick to offer sound advice to our friends, but when we find ourselves in similar situations we can’t take our own advice?

I do believe though that experience plays a huge role in dating, you see, dating is like driving. Once you start, you eventually catch on and with practice you’ll eventually get better and you’ll never forget how to do it even if you stop for a while. Also, much like driving, with experience, you’re on more alert for a potential danger because you have experienced that danger at some point. This is why I think dating is a practice that everyone, both men and women, should partake in as soon as possible once you hit your 20s. *I should add that teenage love affairs do not count*

No one wants to be the naive 35 year old who doesn’t know if their getting played or not when the tall tales signs are right there in front of them. Or don’t know when to move on from a dead end relationship. Granted, dating isn’t particularly easy for everyone, but with practice makes perfect. I also believe that it is a disadvantage being in a long term relationship with one person in your 20s. No one is saying go out and sleep with every person you date, but going out, mingling and meeting new and different people gives you an idea of what you want and don’t want in a relationship. Besides, you really can’t expect to know what you want in a relationship if you’ve been in only one for seven straight years right?? Now, I may have some people out there who will disagree with me, its understandable. I mean, there are some people who end up marrying that person they’ve been with for years. However, am I just that pessimistic to believe that no relationship is that perfect that it doesn’t need a break every now and then?

Readers, what you do think?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Justina
    Feb 07, 2011 @ 17:28:02

    I think people find comfort in having “experts” or people who deal with relationship woes and give advice daily tell them what they already know. I think this woman knows she was getting played from the get, but tried to ignore the signs (and possibly change the man… another mistake most people get into). I think people always try to see the brighter side for themselves, while giving the blunt truth to their friends. This is why people who are great with giving advice should surround themselves with those who are great at doing the same because we all need a pep talk sometimes and most of the times we are not the best ones to give it to ourselves.

    As far as dating… I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! My mother and I talk about this all the time and she has always encouraged me and my siblings to go out there an date – NOT sleep with every person we come in contact with (this is not dating) – but go out to dinner, a walk in the park, a museum event with different people and learn our likes and dislikes in a person and ourselves when in relation to one another. The problem is that today’s society does not allow this to happen. You’re either hoeing around if seen going to dinner with more than one person or locking yourself down because there are “no more good men out there” and you want to snag the first one that comes along. Granted, I have not followed my mothers advice and I did stay in long relationships, but this was out of fear that people would misconstrue my dates for something else. I have no regrets in choosing my path, and am in a happy relationship going on 3 years now. However, I do encourage dating and getting to know the self and others because some people will not be lucky to marry their HS sweethearts or reconnect with their childhood heartthrob 10 years later like I did.

    Reply

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