Gender Hierarchy: Men First, Women Second..

One issue I have always wavered about is the dynamics of the roles between men and women. Please excuse me now if this turns into a rant but I can’t believe it’s took me this long to actually bring this topic up on CT. Relationship talk gives me headaches so you have to know that if I’m talking about it then I feel strongly about it LOL. I have a major complex with men being the “head” of a family/relationship only because of the way it affects the communication area which leads to other things. In no way am I about to go on a feminist rant because honestly I would love to hear how men feel about this topic; so I’ll give my opinion first.

I believe that the man should be the stronghold of the family; essentially making sure that a level of standard is maintained within the household. I absolutely have no issue with this. My problem comes around when decisions aren’t made together between a man and woman because he feels as though as the man, it is his right and duty to make the decision without informing his partner.

Example: In one of the real housewives of (insert whatever city it is), the husband got in a little too over his head with expenses and therefore his home went into foreclosure. The wife had no idea the family was in this much financial trouble until the actual foreclosure notice came in the mail. Because of this mistrust, it cost them their marriage if I’m not mistaken. He wanted to protect his family so his intentions were good, but because he felt that he was the “man” and therefore held all the responsibility, he made all the decisions without informing his wife that led to bankruptcy.

Nowadays men feel as though they have to hold so much responsibility in a family to the point where the decisions they make often aren’t what’s best for the family in general; but what sounds good in their head at the moment. What’s wrong with being equal? If you’re not alone in a situation and the decisions you do make affect not just you, why wouldn’t you want to consult your supposed better half?

Don’t get me wrong. I want my man to be a MAN. Therefore, if there is something you feel strongly about, just run it past a sista so I won’t be feeling stupid or deceived if something goes wrong. I’ll trust your judgement if it doesn’t sound completely ridiculous; and honestly when we make big decisions it’s always good to have a second opinion.

I think gender hierarchy is one of the leading communication issues between men and women. We as two different genders feel entitled and are almost conditioned by society to act a certain way; and when we don’t hold up that standard we become seen as less than our perspective gender or different in a way the other gender wouldn’t want to be bothered with.

My apologies if I am a bit all over the place; it’s only because the situation is difficult in itself.

I could get deeper into this but the headache is coming on…

How do we find that balance?

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