After The Love Is Gone: Bad Break-Up Behavior

Rapper Joe Budden and his ex-girlfriend, video vixen Esther Baxter, recently made the news over a twitter beef. I don’t feel like divulging into what caused the beef, but feel free to read it here. The point of me mentioning the former pair is the twitter beef itself. Joe Budden decided to air his dirty laundry out on Twitter about their relationship, releasing the above photo which is the cover of his new single…..sigh. Between the two, everything from cheating with a NFL baller, losing four babies, can’t turn a “hoe” into a housewife rant, abuse, etc., etc., was discussed on the social-networking site and even the popular radio show, The Breakfast Club. And if you don’t already know, this isn’t the first time Joe Budden has done something along these lines, remember his ex-boo, Tahiry? Yeah, I didn’t think you would, but they too had a similar falling out.

This whole fiasco has me wondering about relationships and the level of maturity one should have after breakups. Joe Budden represents to me the quintessential bitter ex-lover. Remember, this occurred AFTER they had broken-up. Since when is putting your relationship business out there cool? Seems very childish to me. Even after the break-up has occurred, whatever that was done while in the relationship should be left in the past along with the relationship. So you find out that he/she cheated on you while together? Or the ex done got a new boo piece. Ok, you’re no longer with them, so move on. What gratification does one get by putting their ex on blast? Or slashing car tires and all those other Fatal Attraction-esque behavior patterns? Is this a sign that they have not moved on or for the Fatal Attraction folks, just plain ole crazy?  That they are still salty about the breakup? Are phrases like, “you can have my sloppy seconds,” necessary? Budden’s “single” (side-eye), “Ordinary Love Shit” makes me wonder….was she ordinary when you kept a twit-pic of her in your timeline? As far as Esther, who alludes to a miscarriage due to his abuse, I’m curious if she continued to be in the relationship after this occurred? SMH

CT Readers, have you ever witnessed or gone through your own case of relationship immaturity/bad behavior after a breakup? Let’s hear it!

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Samantha
    May 09, 2011 @ 19:54:35

    Where to begin!?
    Exes suck! break up suck. Breakups can last for years and go on and on and on and on. WHen you break up with someone, the best thing to do it to cut it off quick and swift and clean! I am not sure why they think acting a damn fool is going to bring person back though…
    Anytime you are in a relationship with someone and it ends, I think it signifies that someone has fucked up or is crazy. The longer the two people are together, the bigger we assume the screw up must have been. For the people in the relationship, no one wants to be the one that ruined it. So to save face you talk shit about the other person. I think it’s a pride thing, because a break up and especially a divorce is admitting that I failed at something and that I as a person was somehow not enough to keep this thing going. It’s like a personal attack on your own capabilities.

    Sometimes that is how it goes. Someone royally messed up and it does appear to be that one person is the perpetrator and the other is the victim, but I always thought marriages were for better or worse. I am not saying that you should stay with someone who is just straight trifling, but I am saying that in real life people do make mistakes and real love is hard to come by. Isn’t marriage about BOTH people putting aside their hang ups and trying to make it work together. What does is say about you that you have called yourself a proudly adorned yourself with the victim title and placed the blame for the entire demise of the relationship on the other person? What does it say about you and your pride that you are REFUSING to take a second look at the situation when the person is begging for forgiveness? I know people who end marriages because “i just couldn’t do X”. Could you not, or did you not try?

    The worst break ups though, are the “irreconcilable differences” ones. That’s either code for, I really just hate your ass in general and we should’ve enver gotten married in the first place. Or it means that I am just not tough enough to stick it out. Hence the nasty comments and the blame game.

    No one wants to be the party at fault, especially not when you think everyone is looking. So you blame the other person. The fact is, everyone is not meant to be with everyone else. And that is okay! There may not be anything wrong with you, but since we are all human there probably is. I think we just shouldn’t take it so personally. Look at it for what it is and let it be that. Understand your role in whole picture, and keep it moving. Because all the time you spend talking about your ex is time your wasting on someone who should no longer be a factor in your life. So learn the lessons and move on. Because the time you waste on your ex is time you could be spending getting yourself back to your most fabulous self so you can be ready for the other next fabulous person coming your way. Otherwise you might be so bitter thatn you’ll miss them all together.


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