Practice What You Preach

 

“You say there’s a lesson that you wanna teach, well here I am baby, practice what you preach”

I hope you read that lyric with Barry White’s baritone’s voice playing in your head. Today’s topic is universal; all over the board. It can be applied to relationships, religion, friendships, marriages, finances, etc., etc., you name it, it can be applied anywhere, even to what Barry was referencing…sex. I once was at a place in my life (last month) where I needed advice on pretty much everything. I wanted to get opinions and feedback from others to ensure that I was making the proper decisions. While most of the advice was good, I found it problematic that the advice that I was given was not being practiced by the same people who had done the “preaching” and honestly, I have found myself as well on the not practicing what you preaching end.  Generally speaking, it is always easier to give advice than actually follow the advice you give. That is because you are the outside person looking in on the situation, so you can give advice without any biases. Yet, once you find yourself smack dab in a similar situation, you forget about all that Dr. Philing you had been doing.  You begin to make adjustments here and there and give exceptions to the rules. You forget that you dated a level 10 chick on the fugly scale, but you clowning your boy on the women he dates. You take to Twitter and Facebook to drop Think Exist quotes knowledge on your statuses/tweets, yet you don’t take the message of those quotes you post and apply it to your own life. Or you talk about starting anew, yet you stage an offering to get real offerings..**side-eye**

What’s worse is once you realize this person is great at giving advice, but just not great at following it, you begin to question their advice, feedback, words, etc., from that point onward. You listen, but you take it with a grain of salt and in the worse case, you become a cynic.  You become that cynic because this is a person that you probably have trusted, believed and revered. You looked to this person for advice, yet if they say one thing and do the opposite, it’s hypocritical and we all know that hypocrisy is never respected. I close this post by saying that some advice is good, but your own thoughts should never be put on the back burner for someone else’s- unless you intend on jumping off a bridge. Only you know what’s completely best for you and your life, “ya dig?” If you have found yourself in a place where someone loved to give you advice, but wasn’t following their own advice, what do you do? How do you handle these folks?

No Mother Can Replace A Father.

Father’s Day was yesterday and once again all of the facebook statuses, tweets, and myspace messages about how people are so grateful that their moms have been both mothers and fathers to them. There are profile pictures being changed to pictures of mothers. I seriously thought that it was mother’s day all over again. I understand that a lot of men, especially in the black community get the stereotypical rap of not being fathers to their children which in turn leaves the single mothers to handle both motherly and fatherly responsibilities for the children. I commend mothers for the jobs they take on that they just shouldn’t have to, but in the end a father’s role can never be replaced through a mother.

Because of an absentee father, there are just some things that a child will miss out on. In a perfect world with a complete home, the father is the provider, the staple of the family. He also represents different things to both sons and daughters. In a sons life, he shows him how to be a true man and also by how he treats his wife, how to treat a woman. In a daughters life, he represents the caretaker in her life and the person she chooses to marry will have the same values that are instilled within her father.

Women are the most resilient creatures on this planet. We have the amazing ability to adapt to whatever situation we have to take on. Single mothers have been amazing in raising their children the best way they can under the circumstances. Even though we are all of these things, a father’s role in a child’s life can not be replaced. No matter how hard you try to elevate a mother’s duties, she will never reach the pinnacle to replace a father’s influence.

I’m not saying that people that have come from broken homes or absentee fathers are missing anything within themselves. I happen to be a product of it. I am just pointing out the fact that a father’s void can never be fully filled through a mother.

We see mothers getting uplifted on father’s day..what about the dads that are doing it all by themselves? What about the women who have left their children all alone with their fathers? How often do you see a dad being praised on mother’s day? Although it is very uncommon, it is an occurrence.

I think the best thing is to just give each parent the right to their own respective holidays. Let father’s day be just for the fathers. Just as there are deadbeat dads across the world, there are just as many decent, hardworking, and respectable guys that are talking care of their children. I’m sure men already feel as though they don’t get enough credit as their roles within their families and children; let’s give them the praise that they do deserve.

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