Played-Out!!

 

FYI, played out has been “played out” since Curtis Blow said it in Christmas Rap back in the ‘80s, but it serves my purpose here. Lately, there have been trends going on that have quite frankly gotten numerous side-eyes from me in the past few months. Why you ask? I’m quite tired of them, I’ve either seem or heard about it too many times. Cue Jay-Z’s “I’m Off That”

  1. Colorism- It is sad that practices and beliefs that originated centuries ago still resonate with our people in 2011. Granted, some of us have preferences, but are we still going around still judging folks and refusing to associate with and date people based on the hue of their skin?
  2. Overworked-Sex Appeal– Sex appeal is one of those things that should come naturally, but if you’re overdoing it (*cough, Trey Songz) then it’s not so attractive. You need more people.
  3. Amber Rose– Yes, she’s a beautiful woman with the make-up and bleached caesar and I’d kill to have her body on call whenever I’m traveling to the beach, but I’m quite tired of home girl and her laying it low and spreading it wide, literally. It seems as soon as we go a week without Amber Rose related gossip/news, she finds someway to make herself blog-relevant again.Chile, go sit down.
  4. African-Themed Fashion Collections– It seems as though if you compile khaki, African-landscape, elephants, zebras and cheetahs and some made-up “tribal-looking” textile and not to mention ‘exotic’ looking models, you have yourself an African-themed collection. It has become quite boring, unoriginal and quite honestly a bit offensive that the only thing ‘fashionable’ that comes out of Africa are the animals and the jungle landscape.
  5. Mediocre Jobs after College– Let’s see, you go to school for 13-14 years being conditioned to believe that college is the key to success and a stress free life. You believe it and take the loans in order to get the degree only to graduate with a less-than pleasing job struggling to make ends meet. All the while Sierra, the C average class clown, is student loan free, now making $25 an hour right out of high school.
  6. Moscato- Ever since Drake said, “Lobster, steak and a glass of Moscato,” black folks who were never on wine have been running in droves to the sto’ for this sweet libation. Never mind the fact that it is a dessert wine, people drink it with whatever and whenever. So much so that it has become the ‘40’ of the new millennium. Broaden your horizons if you haven’t already, its more wine out there!
  7. Black-Female Bashing– Sigh….I don’t have the energy to sit here and give my thorough two cents on the issue. We saw the Psychology Today “study”, we heard the countless remarks from black entertainers and athletes, the YouTube videos and we read the comment sections of our favorite blogs daily. ENOUGH ALREADY! If you don’t consider us desirable, datable, attractive and/or wife-material, that’s just YOUR opinion. Don’t put us down to justify why we don’t want you you date outside your race or don’t associate with us.

So CT readers, what have you become ‘off’ of? What other things or people have become played out?

The Top Ten Facebook Offenders

We love Facebook posts around here. We could very well be called the Facebook generation. Over the years, THE QUEEN began noticing patterns in her newsfeed amongst some of her Facebook friends. I’d like to share my top 10 Facebook offenders, aka Newsfeed Killers.

  1. The PDA– aka Public Display of Affection. This is the person who insist on giving EVERY detail of his/her relationship, what significant other did for them, how much they love them, how grateful they are to have significant other, etc.  USUALLY, these are new couples so sprung infatuated early on, or those trying their hardest to prove their relationship to others via Facebook.

  2. The “My people will call your people”- aka Hollywood. Facebook users such as this are usually self-absorbed and pretentious. They generally lead what appear to be an awesome lifestyle and are really caught up in their own ‘fabulousness,’ often as a result of others over-complimenting them in FB pics (i.e. “omg, I’m so jealous!”). Signs of this user include making plans to catch up with others, statuses about just how ‘fabulous’ their life is……Hey, we get it! You’re fabulous(side-eye).

  3. Woe is Me-aka Prozac or NewsfeedKiller#1. This mofo Child of God is either seriously depressed and should be on suicide watch or just loves attention. Your newsfeed is probably littered every day or in waves with this user’s somber statuses, tales, and depressing notes about how crazy their life is, or how bad their day is going. Facebook is my leisure time, I am not trying to hear that shat.

  4. The Chef- aka Food Blogger or NewsfeedKiller#2. SIGH….I’ll admit, I’m a fan of food blogs and if you check my camera and BB, you’ll probably see tons of food pics. I love seeing food that others cook and I like sharing my dishes with the masses time to time. HOWEVER, there is something called a LIMIT and should I and everyone else suffer and see every meal you plan to cook for the entire day, along with bad cell phone pics of your dishes? Do us a favor, invest in a nice camera and get yourself a tumblr page.

  5. E-Thugclick here. Old Wise One describe this user nicely.

  6. Outlook Calendar– If I happened to be a deranged type of habitual FB stalker (see #10), I could probably get away with abducting maybe 40% of my FB friends. Via status updates, you know their every move, (ex.,”off work at five, then hitting up Mirage nightclub around 10ish, see ya’ll there ;-)”) Considering that most people will befriend someone they really don’t know, it is amazing how much detailed information people divulge about their comings and goings.

  7. TV Guide– Not sure what’s coming on tonight or what you already missed? No problem, the TV Guide user will update you as soon as you sign in and view your newsfeed. Unlike The Chef and Woe is Me, usually TV Guide’s updates are helpful.

  8. Ms. Apple Bottoms”/”Mr. Colt 45″– SIGH….Similar to My People Will Call Your People, they are also very self-absorbed. Chances are they have nice bodies and their friends/flunkies adore their bodies only them and drool over their FB bathroom shot pics. However, the difference between Ms. Apple Bottoms/ Mr. Colt 45 and MPWCYP is their life isn’t that “fabulous,”  maybe hot ghetto mess fabulous perhaps.

  9. The Cryptic – aka Brainyquote.  Occasionally you get that one status that you makes you go, “hmm, I wonder what’s going on with them?” The reality is, you will never find out and that’s exactly what The Cryptic user wants. Their statuses are usually original and always subliminal, but sometimes you will get a famous quote that allows the Cryptic to sum up their current situation in a deep, intellectual and thought provoking way, the powers of a Google search.

  10. The Habitual Stalker– Ahhhh I saved the best for last. Every last one of us as Facebook users are guilty of FB stalking someone at least one time. I call that ‘casual stalking.’ For example, you trying to find out if so and so is still with so and so OR genuinely trying to locate a long-lost friend-that’s casual stalking. The Stalker THE QUEEN speaks of is the habitual stalker- the person who can recall what your status was three weeks ago or knows when you edit your profile….but your edits are not posted to your newsfeed…**CRICKETS**

 Did I miss any? Can you find yourself in any of these offenders. I am guilty of a few of these offenses. Are you? Don’t be afraid to share!

Top Five Biggest Office Distractions

To combat the stereotype of lazy black folks, I’m a advocate for office productivity, I am on time (for the most part), I get my work done, you know, all the good stuff. However, sometimes office distractions are apart of every typical 9-5 job, hence the time of this post. Here are my top five biggest office distractions:

  1. Blogs– with the exception of maybe Facebook and CNN, the majority of my online time is spent surfing blog sites. While I try to keep my online presence at a minimum at work, I can’t help but to visit Young, Black and Fabulous to see what’s the latest on my favorite celebrities or the fashion articles at Fashion Bomb Daily.
  2. GChat– gchat or ‘google messenger’ is the Messiah of office distractions. Gone are the days of AIM, GChat is the best way to chat to friends without having to pull out the cell and you can check your e-mails all at the same time.
  3. Facebook- this item is debatable since I strongly believe Facebook will become another defunct social networking site in the next five years. That is, unless it comes up with more innovative features, (Myspace anyone?). Nevertheless, in the meantime people still rely on Facebook to connect or reconnect with friends, find out the latest gossip, check to see who’s with who, who was wearing what and to ‘facebook stalk’- don’t act brand new, you know you do it too.
  4. E-mail Chains-What starts off as a simple forwarded e-mail sent to inspire, uplift and brighten your day can easily turn into a e-mail conversation with the entire recipient list. The worst part? When you think you have ended the thread by not responding and that ONE co-worker continues with the thread 10 minutes later with some off topic sidenote…ARGGGHHHH!!!
  5. Chatty Co-Workers-Everyone has that one co-worker that loves to talk. Even when you make it clear that it’s a) lunchtime b) your phone is ringing c) or you have so much work to catch up on, they still continue to go on as if they don’t get the message. Typically, these are the folks who never seem to have their work done and know it, but still walk around as if they have nothing on their plate.

So I’m curious of your biggest office distractions, please share. They may become useful to me in my downtimes…

Want A Faster Way To Fame? Just Make A Sex Tape/Nude Photo/ Drink Tiger Blood..

Having a hard time finding your niche in Hollywood? Do you need just a little push to put you into the superstar stratosphere? Try what celebrities are doing now: make a sex tape and let it find its way to being public, take a nude photo…or simply talk about trolls and tiger blood!

Ok let’s be real here, I’m pretty sure no celebrity wants to have a sex tape or nude photo released but ultimately it always seems to work to their advantage. They take the unfortunate situations and turn it around to attract more attention from the public. And in some situations like Charlie Sheen, our stupidity will turn from controversy to just plain…duh-winning! We’ll get back to him later though…let’s look at some examples..

The Kim Kardashian/Ray J sex tape. This tape got crazy press and the most interesting part is that the whole controversy occurred during the filming of a reality show “Keeping Up With The Kardasians” which follows the lives of the Kardashian family. It was clear from Kim’s reaction on the show that she never intended for the tape to be seen by anyone else. From that point on though Kim Kardashian’s fame seemed to increase; not because she was a victim in the situation but because of….well I think you can figure that part out LOL. The point is even thought the situation was really bad, in the end it worked out favorably for her. She has gotten more and more opportunities because of her heightened sex appeal and “publicity”. I’m not condoning how her fame increased but honestly, it is what it is.

Chris Brown’s nude photo. I think we have seen numerous nude photos leaked in the past few months but Chris Brown’s is fresh off the internet press. Apparently he was sending his ex-boo a picture and I don’t really know what was the point in sending her a naked photo if yall not together but hey, do you. Think about this though, it’s pretty interesting that this “scandal” happens right before this album is set to release on March 22 which is titled “Fame”…go figure. It seems as though nude photos are just not surprising anymore to the public. We have seen everything from political figures to famous singers/rappers have pictures leaked to the public. You would think you would be more careful with the company you keep or who you piss off.

Charlie Sheen point blank. I’m not even going to lie I had never  heard about Charlie Sheen until all of his insane antics became of such interest and I think the fact that I now know who he is proves my whole point. Clearly the man has lost something along the way but once again, it wouldn’t be American-like not to be entertained off of someone’s ridiculous behavior. Between the tiger blood, winning and bi-winning, and trolls who create cell phones it just leaves one question to be answered….ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!! Of course you are and I think I can speak for most people when I say I’m enjoying every minute of it. Matter of fact I’m laughing as I type this right now. The end product here is plain and simple, Charlie Sheen is getting more exposure than he has in years..he made a twitter account and reached 1 million followers within 24 hours. I’ll just leave you guys with one of my favorite lines of Mr. Sheen:

‎”I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available, if you try it once you will die.”

Your Thoughts? The Real Housewives of the Civil Rights Movement

Over at one of CT’s favorite sites, CLUTCH online, the video below was posted not too long ago,  which is a satire of the popular Real Housewives reality shows and the women of the Civil Rights Movement-sans Marilyn Monroe. I personally thought the video was quite funny, I don’t believe the video should have been taken so seriously by some of the commenters on CLUTCH, but nevertheless, some opposition is to be expected. So, what do you guys think? Funny or Crass?

You decide.

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