The Half Year Point: Are You On The Path To Achieving Your Goals?

The middle of the year has dawned upon us and I don’t know about anyone else but it makes me wonder how far along have I gotten to achieving my goals for the year. I have never been one of those people that makes a list of New Year’s Resolutions but I do kind of have an idea about things I want to get done in the year. There is something about setting a goal for yourself that makes you work harder to accomplish it. How many of you all create “to-do” lists and love the feeling of checking something off when you’ve gotten it done? So let’s take it to a broader perspective; how many things have you checked off this year?

Most people by this point have literally forgotten any New Year’s Resolutions they made for themselves or they simply haven’t really made any effort to achieve them thus far in the year. Things happens, people come and go, careers and relationships change. Now that we have found ourselves in the middle of the year, it’s time to reestablish and reaffirm the things we need to get down.

Our generation has been known to be slackers; a generation that doesn’t know the meaning of hard work and determination. On the other hand, no other generation has faced the hardships that we have thus far. Therefore we need to make sure that we are on point with everything.

Start with smaller goals that progress towards a larger goal. Sometimes having a general goal can be so overwhelming that you don’t even want to tackle it or choose to avoid it because of how large it is. Create a master plan and then set up little goals that will bring you to the larger goal. Write them down! Don’t just walk around with all these objectives in your mind; I guarantee you that you will probably forget half of the things that you planned to do in the first place. Finally, don’t let any unnecessary distractions get in your way. Sometimes people are brought into your life simply to take you off track from what you are doing. Others may have been lingering around just waiting for the opportunity to take you down. Surround yourself with people that are trying to achieve just like you are. Positive energy will do nothing but lift you higher.




FYI, played out has been “played out” since Curtis Blow said it in Christmas Rap back in the ‘80s, but it serves my purpose here. Lately, there have been trends going on that have quite frankly gotten numerous side-eyes from me in the past few months. Why you ask? I’m quite tired of them, I’ve either seem or heard about it too many times. Cue Jay-Z’s “I’m Off That”

  1. Colorism- It is sad that practices and beliefs that originated centuries ago still resonate with our people in 2011. Granted, some of us have preferences, but are we still going around still judging folks and refusing to associate with and date people based on the hue of their skin?
  2. Overworked-Sex Appeal– Sex appeal is one of those things that should come naturally, but if you’re overdoing it (*cough, Trey Songz) then it’s not so attractive. You need more people.
  3. Amber Rose– Yes, she’s a beautiful woman with the make-up and bleached caesar and I’d kill to have her body on call whenever I’m traveling to the beach, but I’m quite tired of home girl and her laying it low and spreading it wide, literally. It seems as soon as we go a week without Amber Rose related gossip/news, she finds someway to make herself blog-relevant again.Chile, go sit down.
  4. African-Themed Fashion Collections– It seems as though if you compile khaki, African-landscape, elephants, zebras and cheetahs and some made-up “tribal-looking” textile and not to mention ‘exotic’ looking models, you have yourself an African-themed collection. It has become quite boring, unoriginal and quite honestly a bit offensive that the only thing ‘fashionable’ that comes out of Africa are the animals and the jungle landscape.
  5. Mediocre Jobs after College– Let’s see, you go to school for 13-14 years being conditioned to believe that college is the key to success and a stress free life. You believe it and take the loans in order to get the degree only to graduate with a less-than pleasing job struggling to make ends meet. All the while Sierra, the C average class clown, is student loan free, now making $25 an hour right out of high school.
  6. Moscato- Ever since Drake said, “Lobster, steak and a glass of Moscato,” black folks who were never on wine have been running in droves to the sto’ for this sweet libation. Never mind the fact that it is a dessert wine, people drink it with whatever and whenever. So much so that it has become the ‘40’ of the new millennium. Broaden your horizons if you haven’t already, its more wine out there!
  7. Black-Female Bashing– Sigh….I don’t have the energy to sit here and give my thorough two cents on the issue. We saw the Psychology Today “study”, we heard the countless remarks from black entertainers and athletes, the YouTube videos and we read the comment sections of our favorite blogs daily. ENOUGH ALREADY! If you don’t consider us desirable, datable, attractive and/or wife-material, that’s just YOUR opinion. Don’t put us down to justify why we don’t want you you date outside your race or don’t associate with us.

So CT readers, what have you become ‘off’ of? What other things or people have become played out?

Confessions Of A Transitioning Natural..

If you guys remember, all three members of CT are  on their ways to natural hair, more so in three different stages from completely natural to the beginning stages of transitioning. I find myself to be in the middle. As of June, I have been transitioning for 18 months! I thought I would never be able to do it, but here I am at the end of my transitioning process. I plan to cut the remaining ends of my permed hair by the end of the summer (i’ve been punking out).

I have experimented with numerous products trying to find the “regimen” that will suit my hair. One thing I love to do is try the products that are popular underground before they make it to the mainstream audience. I tend to have more faith in these products because I know that they aren’t mass produced, which means that the product is still the quality it portrays. I’m going to highlight some underground products from two companies; some I have tried and others I plan to try in the near future.

Oyin Handmade

I faithfully use their products. I believe that I have mentioned them before in an older post of mine, but they are a company based in Baltimore, MD which is only about 40 mins from me. They have a shop that is open for a certain amount of hours a week and also give the opportunity for you to be able to help package products and keep some goodies for yourself. My most favorite products include

I love the whole juices trio. After washing my hair I usually just pick one at random and spray it down.

The burnt sugar pomade is great with providing a natural hold instead of using a gel that can cause breakage.

Great conditioner that has an amazing slip for dentangling!

If you don’t try anything I’ve mentioned then please try the whipped pudding. The shea butter concoction is amazing for sealing the moisture in your hair. I use this many for any type of twist out, braid out, or bantu knot hair style.

Uncle Funky’s Daughter

This is a company based in Houston, TX. I heard about them from a fellow co working and I am dying to get a hold of some of their products. I know I will have to order directly from them and I love everything about it coming straight from the seller. I will do a detailed report about them soon once I save up some pennies to do some long distance ordering.

Practice What You Preach


“You say there’s a lesson that you wanna teach, well here I am baby, practice what you preach”

I hope you read that lyric with Barry White’s baritone’s voice playing in your head. Today’s topic is universal; all over the board. It can be applied to relationships, religion, friendships, marriages, finances, etc., etc., you name it, it can be applied anywhere, even to what Barry was referencing…sex. I once was at a place in my life (last month) where I needed advice on pretty much everything. I wanted to get opinions and feedback from others to ensure that I was making the proper decisions. While most of the advice was good, I found it problematic that the advice that I was given was not being practiced by the same people who had done the “preaching” and honestly, I have found myself as well on the not practicing what you preaching end.  Generally speaking, it is always easier to give advice than actually follow the advice you give. That is because you are the outside person looking in on the situation, so you can give advice without any biases. Yet, once you find yourself smack dab in a similar situation, you forget about all that Dr. Philing you had been doing.  You begin to make adjustments here and there and give exceptions to the rules. You forget that you dated a level 10 chick on the fugly scale, but you clowning your boy on the women he dates. You take to Twitter and Facebook to drop Think Exist quotes knowledge on your statuses/tweets, yet you don’t take the message of those quotes you post and apply it to your own life. Or you talk about starting anew, yet you stage an offering to get real offerings..**side-eye**

What’s worse is once you realize this person is great at giving advice, but just not great at following it, you begin to question their advice, feedback, words, etc., from that point onward. You listen, but you take it with a grain of salt and in the worse case, you become a cynic.  You become that cynic because this is a person that you probably have trusted, believed and revered. You looked to this person for advice, yet if they say one thing and do the opposite, it’s hypocritical and we all know that hypocrisy is never respected. I close this post by saying that some advice is good, but your own thoughts should never be put on the back burner for someone else’s- unless you intend on jumping off a bridge. Only you know what’s completely best for you and your life, “ya dig?” If you have found yourself in a place where someone loved to give you advice, but wasn’t following their own advice, what do you do? How do you handle these folks?

No Mother Can Replace A Father.

Father’s Day was yesterday and once again all of the facebook statuses, tweets, and myspace messages about how people are so grateful that their moms have been both mothers and fathers to them. There are profile pictures being changed to pictures of mothers. I seriously thought that it was mother’s day all over again. I understand that a lot of men, especially in the black community get the stereotypical rap of not being fathers to their children which in turn leaves the single mothers to handle both motherly and fatherly responsibilities for the children. I commend mothers for the jobs they take on that they just shouldn’t have to, but in the end a father’s role can never be replaced through a mother.

Because of an absentee father, there are just some things that a child will miss out on. In a perfect world with a complete home, the father is the provider, the staple of the family. He also represents different things to both sons and daughters. In a sons life, he shows him how to be a true man and also by how he treats his wife, how to treat a woman. In a daughters life, he represents the caretaker in her life and the person she chooses to marry will have the same values that are instilled within her father.

Women are the most resilient creatures on this planet. We have the amazing ability to adapt to whatever situation we have to take on. Single mothers have been amazing in raising their children the best way they can under the circumstances. Even though we are all of these things, a father’s role in a child’s life can not be replaced. No matter how hard you try to elevate a mother’s duties, she will never reach the pinnacle to replace a father’s influence.

I’m not saying that people that have come from broken homes or absentee fathers are missing anything within themselves. I happen to be a product of it. I am just pointing out the fact that a father’s void can never be fully filled through a mother.

We see mothers getting uplifted on father’s day..what about the dads that are doing it all by themselves? What about the women who have left their children all alone with their fathers? How often do you see a dad being praised on mother’s day? Although it is very uncommon, it is an occurrence.

I think the best thing is to just give each parent the right to their own respective holidays. Let father’s day be just for the fathers. Just as there are deadbeat dads across the world, there are just as many decent, hardworking, and respectable guys that are talking care of their children. I’m sure men already feel as though they don’t get enough credit as their roles within their families and children; let’s give them the praise that they do deserve.

Black Fatherhood: Revered or Expected?

With Father’s Day right around the corner, some of us are rushing to find the perfect gift(s). Like Mother’s Day, we celebrate and honor the other half that created us, but when the smoke clears, then what? The reality is, not many in the black community will be that enthused for the Sunday holiday. Many of us have grown up fatherless, or our fathers may have been around, but did not play a pivotal role in our lives. Without question, parenting in the black community needs to improve-period, on both sides, but black fathers need to step up to the plate and be better providers and nurturers for their children’s sake. While I can say that my mother did an EXCELLENT job raising my sister and I alone, there were many times in which I wished my father was around for the advice I needed. For the men who are reading this, and grew up in a home void of a father, I’m sure you all feel the same way, more so than me. As children, we need are parents more than ever, but it is not until you get to adult life that you realize that a portion of your life may have been affected by their absence or lack of involvement. This post isn’t to bash black fathers, there are great fathers out there (GRANDPA IKE!), who take care of their children and are there for them. However, just because they are an anomaly, doesn’t mean we should put them on a higher pedestal. So we commend Dwayne Wade and Barack Obama for showcasing black fatherhood in a positive light. Their efforts are not going unnoticed, and they are making strides to improve the public’s perception of black fathers.  Yet, shouldn’t we be at a place where fatherhood is not an option, but an expected requirement?

I related so much to an episode of Braxton Family Values, I had to post. If you’re a product of separated/divorced parents, you know all about the “family gatherings”:

What were your experiences with your father? How do you honor your dad on Father’s Day?

Unwanted Flirtation In The Office: Do You Pick Your Battles Or Report It?

When I did temporary work, I had the opportunity to work in difference offices and see how the dynamics vary from place to place. There were times when I noticed office flirtation, not necessarily wanted. Usually in most instances, people will just choose to brush them off because of the drama that will come of the situation. How far would you allow unwanted flirtation in the office to occur? Sometimes its best to take one for the team just to keep security in your job but what exactly is enough for you to take further action?

Most of the time the unwanted attention comes from men, let’s be honest. If there are any guys reading this right now and it’s happened to you, please share your story because it actually is a rarity. It could be anything from an inappropriate comment to a blatant stare at something they just shouldn’t be looking at. You have those people that are just so bold in their positions that they do and say what they please knowing that you won’t say anything because at the end of the say it will only make your job more difficult not theirs.

Not that anyone deserves any type of badgering on the job but you do have some people that just ask for it. Everyone is entitled to wear whatever they what, but when you decide to wear things in the office space that can take away from the job at hand, you kind of bring it upon yourself. If you want to wear things that show everything God gave you, that’s all fine and good but remember the consequences you take when doing such; you may have things said to you that you necessarily didn’t bargain for. It could be anything from a skirt that’s too tight to a shirt that shows every muscle and six pack. There is a thing called office etiquette.

Also, some people just don’t have the resistant as a human being to understand when things aren’t appropriate. That person could be tired with the situation they go home to everyday and are just looking to find a thrill in their regular lives. Individuals like to stir up controversy in order to redirect the issues they have within themselves and others.  They also like to see how far they can push the envelope with you, knowing that you probably won’t take it to another level because of the consequences that could come from it.

At end of the day no one deserves to have anything unwanted done to them. We, as human beings, should respect such wishes and treat others the way we would want to be treated. We come to work to make money, and sometimes actually get a rewarding experience from it, not entertain foolishness.

So where do you draw the line? Can you handle the sly remarks, stares, and comments? Does a simple touch that you know could have been avoided put you over the edge? Where is the line between harmless annoyance and flat out badgering?

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