Thank God I Dodged A Bullet

FYI, no, I wasn’t in a recent shoot-out. While watching the new video to Beyonce’s, ‘Best Thing I Never Had’ track, aside from her Ebony Fashion Fair-esque walk at the end and her flawless skin, a few lines from the song stood out to me:

“Thank God you blew it, Thank God I dodged a bullet, I’m so over you, so baby good looking out.”

I could relate, I’m sure others can relate to Bey on this too. Dating someone who is not pulling their own weight in the relationship or not practicing Teddy P’s 50/50 love formula is never good. I have had my experiences in relationships, in which I had been dating someone for a while and throwing a blind eye to the red-flags or their lack of participation in the relationship. In cases such as this, because you love them or think you “love them,” you allow yourself to put those red flags to the side. Not to mention if you think this person is “the one” while they are not proving themselves to be that indeed “special one.” You will set yourself up for a lot of disappointment and wasted time.

'Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Gooooo'

However, there comes a point, usually that final straw, when everything becomes clear and the realization hits you. You start saying to yourself, “I can do better,” or “I don’t deserve this.” The power and liberation that comes along with letting someone go who’s expiration was long overdue is tremendous. Yet, I don’t want to completely bash “the exes,” because some of the people who turn out not to be “the one” do have some purpose in our lives. The teach us valuable lessons and in the process, we learn what we like and what we don’t like when it comes to picking mates in the future. So with that being said, they aren’t completely made up of douchebag material, just not for us. Furthermore, it’s not until we meet someone better or see that “something old” in person or via social networking, that we indeed think to ourselves, “What the hell was I thinking??!?!” “Damn I’m so off that,” “Thank God they blew it and THANK GOD I dodged that bullet.”

 Can anyone co-sign????

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ENOUGH!!! When It’s Time To Put It On The Shelf….

 

I know its cliché, but relationships are indeed hard work. So much so, that the mere mention of a relationship sends people running. Sometimes people stay in relationships for so long only because they think about all of the hard work they put into it and don’t want to see it go down the drain (i.e. someone else having you). Others stay in because they think that their significant other at the moment is “the one”- which is the worse thing you can do in a relationship that’s already turned sour is to believe that person is “the one.” Doing so will impair your judgment and make you a fool in love like Beyonce’ sings about and makes you look like one in the process. I got to thinking about the things we should notice in a relationship that should be our tickets out. Here’s what I came up with.

You just aren’t the same– Any relationship that changes the person that you are into someone you don’t recognize and it’s for the worse is a clear indication that you need to let it go. You once were an outgoing, social butterfly, but since hooking up with the boo, you’ve become withdrawn and reserved. Something isn’t making you happy, reevaluate.

Out of the loop– Everyone is laughing, except you. “Did I miss something?” Yeah, your friends ditching you and leaving you clueless. True, close friends will normally let you know that your relationship is not the biz, but sometimes when your relationship isn’t good or you simply don’t their advice, friends tend to pull back and leave you questioning, “where you at?” “Why we haven’t talked in so long?” “Did you get my text?” They got them-they’re simply avoiding you and the drama.

“Cricket” Moments– *crickets* is a term my friends and I use to describe an awkward moment or when you just have nothing to say, so you hear the *crickets* chirping. If you are experiencing moments like this in your relationship, then there’s something wrong. Remember back when you guys first hooked up- the conversations were endless, there was always something to talk about and even in dead silence there never was that awkward feeling, it just worked right??? Nowadays, silence is met with an awkward feeling. Ummmm, yea, that’s not good..

Going with the flow– Many people are guilty of this; we see the signs that things aren’t working out, yet we stay in the relationship. We are simply going with the flow. People do this to avoid the pain of a break-up, or being without their mate, but honestly, ask yourself, “Is a painful break-up worse than what I am going through now?” It is amazing what people will do and put up with to say they’re in a relationship.

The Volunteer Fool-This coincides with “going with the flow,” instead this one is a bit advanced. Everyone who has been in a bad relationship has played this role at some point.  You’re well aware of the problems (i.e. cheating, blatant disrespect, etc.), but you you ignore it; all of your friends and family have brought it to your attention, but in your mind, the idea of not having somebody is unquestionable, unthinkable and impossible to imagine. Thus, you continue on in this relationship, allowing yourself to be treated in a way that makes you look like an idiot basically.

So I know you’re wondering, why the Enough movie pic? I know I am not talking about abusive relationships per se, but it is something to think about.*SPOILER ALERT*- in the movie, J LO has her “maynnnnnnnnneeeeeeee, f*ck this!” (Erykah Badu reference)/ Epiphany moment and decides she’s not putting up with her abusive husband’s BS anymore and she go to work on that ass. She literally has flashback moments of all the BS she’s put up with and simply let go.

Normally, I don’t agree with the material that Tyler Perry puts out, but I must admit, in his “Madea Goes To Jail” play, Perry gives a great performance and gives the greatest relationship EVER! Its the truth!!! I couldn’t embed, but ya’ll not doing nothing anyway, just click on the link and watch, it’s worth checking out:

 Madea Gives Relationship Advice

That’s what you guys and girls should do, think of these things and have your Epiphany moment and let go. Life is too short to deal with the unnecessary… (quote me!)

There are countless signs to leave a relationship, but these stood out in my mind. Got any more? COMMENT!

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